Fluff is a year old. Yay!! And Mr. M has a problem with only 3 people having met Fluff.
Oh! and mini me forgot about the book. She hasn't talked about it and I don't think she wants it anymore :)
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Hugs and words always work...
Never knew that a fun, bead shopping trip to a local craft store could teach me some very important things about parenting!! We went there to get beads for her math work. We went for beads. But, we the artists can never go in with a list, shop, and leave. We feel compelled to browse. We get ideas. We jot those ideas in a notebook (we always have a notebook in our bag!!). Stuff the notebook in the bag. Get back home. After a few days we replace the notebook with another notebook (what do you mean 'why'?? We just do! that's all!) Then the original notebook (like the 5163 other original notebooks) moves on from the bag to the dining table (needless to say we never have a clue how it got there). Then in a few days the book gets so sick and tired of being pushed and shoved that it moves residence to under the dining table. Not the best place. Lesson learnt. So, move to the book shelf (nope! a book shelf is never a good place for these special notebooks and nope! this one is not going to stay there for long either...). After a few days or maybe weeks, it will find it's way to the shoe rack and then to the coat pocket (it's a pocket book silly :))and then to the bedside table, the window-sill, the underbed storage and at last to it's final destination- the invisible notebook-eating monster's tummy from whence it will reappear after a few years and follow the same pathway unless I am so overwhelmed at finding it that I actually decide to consolidate all my ideas into one big notebook (there are a bunch of 'one' big notebooks too) and recycle the 'original' one.
So, getting back to the point, we went bead shopping, saw some other stuff, jotted down ideas, saw a colouring book, took it (another trick is to never take a shopping basket/trolley at any store other than the grocery store. There is only so much one can hold in one's hand). Then, as I was paying up, mini me saw another book. She obviously wanted it. Her cousin has it. Hmmm... I had to draw the line somewhere. I said, "No". She said, "why?". I said, "Because we don't buy everything we see". And then she said the cutest thing ever. She said, " But Amma! I didn't see it! Now can you buy it for me?". I so wanted to but it for her but I still said no. She cried and it broke my heart to see her crying over a book that cost 3 bucks.
Mini me doesn't do that very often. She very very rarely throws a tantrum for things she wants us to buy for her. Many a times we have given in to her demands. And this time around I would just have bought her the book gladly. But she gave me the wrong reason. She had to learn that we don't go out and buy everything that other people have. Neither do we buy everything we see and like in a store. And she knows that now. It just cost me half an hour of my life, tons of hugs and kisses and a lot of patience. But it was more than worth it. She saw it. She got the point. And she suggested we went home, sorted her stuff, give away some that she isn't using, make some space for her new book on the book shelf and then go to the book store and get something that she likes. Not something she wants just because she saw it at somebody's place.
Now I know I made the right choice and for once I am proud of my parenting skills :) Now, that's a rarity too.
P.S. It helps to give tons of examples from our own lives too ;)
So, getting back to the point, we went bead shopping, saw some other stuff, jotted down ideas, saw a colouring book, took it (another trick is to never take a shopping basket/trolley at any store other than the grocery store. There is only so much one can hold in one's hand). Then, as I was paying up, mini me saw another book. She obviously wanted it. Her cousin has it. Hmmm... I had to draw the line somewhere. I said, "No". She said, "why?". I said, "Because we don't buy everything we see". And then she said the cutest thing ever. She said, " But Amma! I didn't see it! Now can you buy it for me?". I so wanted to but it for her but I still said no. She cried and it broke my heart to see her crying over a book that cost 3 bucks.
Mini me doesn't do that very often. She very very rarely throws a tantrum for things she wants us to buy for her. Many a times we have given in to her demands. And this time around I would just have bought her the book gladly. But she gave me the wrong reason. She had to learn that we don't go out and buy everything that other people have. Neither do we buy everything we see and like in a store. And she knows that now. It just cost me half an hour of my life, tons of hugs and kisses and a lot of patience. But it was more than worth it. She saw it. She got the point. And she suggested we went home, sorted her stuff, give away some that she isn't using, make some space for her new book on the book shelf and then go to the book store and get something that she likes. Not something she wants just because she saw it at somebody's place.
Now I know I made the right choice and for once I am proud of my parenting skills :) Now, that's a rarity too.
P.S. It helps to give tons of examples from our own lives too ;)
Monday, January 18, 2010
A Miracle!!
I am thrilled. Excited. Elated. Full of energy. I feel like Eliza Dolittle singing 'I could've danced all night'!! The reason? Oh! I have a pretty darned good reason to feel this happy. I want to scream it out from the mountain tops. You will not believe what happened this morning! Jr. H brushed her teeth. And that's not all. She not only brushed her teeth, but she did it on her own. With paste. In precisely 5 minutes. She did not swallow the paste. And here's the best part...all this without one drop of tear! No 'silence'. No wrestling. No bloodshed. No head injuries or hospitalizations. No blackmails. No threats. None of that. Just pure plain old peace. Non-violence. It's amazing how the quality of my entire day depends on a four year old brushing her teeth!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
When kids become teenagers...
Nope! Mine isn't a teenager. Yet. She has a 'good' (and that is what I call wishful thinking) 9 years to go before that. But she's being nice to me. She's letting me have a sneak peek at what she will be like in her teens. Most parents might miss taking the hint but not me! Oh no! I get it so totally and clearly that all of my recreational reading is only about kids and how to live with them.
As you know or might have guessed, my daughter turned 4 a few months ago. And there is reason why they call it the 'fearsome fours'. To me it feels like her birthday was the official declaration of war in my house!
And Mr. M is now our official mediator. I guess he has a strong affinity to 'M' words. He is the one that intervenes when push comes to shove and might progress to head injury and hospitalization as a result of trying to brush our teeth. He is also of great help when Jr.H insists that she will go to school in her underwear. He is the one who checks on us when there is maddening silence in the house, the silence not from us being quiet but from us screaming so hard that our voices go above and beyond the frequencies that humans are capable of detecting. Now being able to distinguish between those two types of silences is a very special talent and it takes a lot of practice.
The only problem we have is Mr. M's part time (and needless to say, less important)occupation like his day job which keeps him away from home for a good 8 hours in a day. Take away the time that Jr. H spends at school and we are still left to fend for ourselves and protect ourselves from each other for what seems like eternity but actually amounts to about 4 hours. So, for the sake of those 4 hours, I started reading a very interesting book that many other survivors had recommended. And guess what I found. She is EXACTLY like me!!!
As you know or might have guessed, my daughter turned 4 a few months ago. And there is reason why they call it the 'fearsome fours'. To me it feels like her birthday was the official declaration of war in my house!
And Mr. M is now our official mediator. I guess he has a strong affinity to 'M' words. He is the one that intervenes when push comes to shove and might progress to head injury and hospitalization as a result of trying to brush our teeth. He is also of great help when Jr.H insists that she will go to school in her underwear. He is the one who checks on us when there is maddening silence in the house, the silence not from us being quiet but from us screaming so hard that our voices go above and beyond the frequencies that humans are capable of detecting. Now being able to distinguish between those two types of silences is a very special talent and it takes a lot of practice.
The only problem we have is Mr. M's part time (and needless to say, less important)occupation like his day job which keeps him away from home for a good 8 hours in a day. Take away the time that Jr. H spends at school and we are still left to fend for ourselves and protect ourselves from each other for what seems like eternity but actually amounts to about 4 hours. So, for the sake of those 4 hours, I started reading a very interesting book that many other survivors had recommended. And guess what I found. She is EXACTLY like me!!!
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