My little girlie is as desperate as can be. For what? To be a big girl :) I was too, at some point in my life and now I am a big girl with responsibilities of a family weighing me down. I am a big girl and I am stressed and anxious and depressed from time to time. Definitely not what I had in mind when I wished for 'big girl'. And now I know why they keep telling you be careful what you wish for!
Now I see my grandma who stopped keeping track of her age long before we could start keeping track of it. Now no one knows how old she is but her children seem to agree on something close to 90. I watch her and I see not much difference between her and my 3 year old girl. They both talk to themselves. They both make up stories, one being imaginative in doing so and the other hallucinative. Both of them cannot fathom the concept of time. For them there's now, yesterday and tomorrow. Yesterday could be anytime from the moment they were born up until now. And tomorrow is anytime after now to eternity. They both bump into things because they are too distracted to see where they are going.
And now I wonder why we so desperately wish to grow up just to go a full circle and meet our end right where we started off but alone !
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